The Vampire & Werewolf Experience – A Total Eclipse of All Art – Charlie Swan is a Terrible Police Chief

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Word Count: 321 words

Well I mean no disrespect I think Charlie Swan’s a real nice guy
But he’s a terrible police chief and I’ll tell ya a few reasons why

All these mysterious death’s going on around town
Caused by some sort of unidentifiable animal

Oh Charlie, how many people have to be mauled by this unidentified animal before you figure out there’s a crazy war going on between vampires and werewolves right in your small town?
Why do you accept the autopsy results from Carlisle Cullen MD?
Can’t you see?
He’s a vampire and he’s just covering things up

Oh Charlie, meanwhile, this Edward kid is spying on your daughter every night while she sleeps
How can you allow that?
Don’t you have this feeling in your gut, some kinda police instinct that tells you that this kid is bad news?
And this Jacob kid’s not much better.
He turns into a werewolf all the time and has all these violent rages
You shouldn’t allow Bella to hang out with him

Oh Charlie, come on I know you like to give your daughter space and all
But Charlie, she’s right in the middle of a huge war that’s been going on for centuries between werewolves and vampires
I don’t think a good protective policeman father would allow his daughter to get involved with these kind of crazy characters

Oh Charlie, you gotta stop relying on the autopsy results of Carlisle Cullen
You can do better than that, Charlie
Come on, come on, come on, come on, Charlie
You gotta do something

You gotta figure out what’s going on in your town
Or maybe you just don’t wanna find out
You took this job in Forks cuz you figured you’d just be handing out traffic tickets
You didn’t want to get involved in an epic battle between werewolves and vampires
And you’re just gonna let the two sides duke it out amongst each other

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