Spotify Link: I Hope I’m Constipated On Valentine’s Day
I hope I’m constipated
On St. Valentine’s Day
Because I want to be with my woman
And have nothing else get in our way
Cuz if I tell her that she’s lovely
And that I’m so lucky to date her
I don’t want to have her hear me exploding
In the bathroom moments later
The love seat is so close
To the bathroom and the toilet
That if I have to poop
Well that would surely spoil it
The farts and the plopping
And the diarrhea
Will make her want to say it’s over, we’re finished
Bye bye, I’ll see ya
So I’m drinking lots of milk
And I’m eating lots of cheese
And I’m praying to the Lord
Saying hey Lord, please please please
Bind up all the poop in my bowels
Don’t let it be loose
And beginning February 15th
I will start drinking me some prune juice
